Being a Mom and Military Wife all at the same time...

I get asked all of the time how I can go through a deployment with the boys. I always smile and say the same thing, I just take it day by day! But that's not how I really get through this but if I stopped to explain to them how I really do this, then I'd be wasting my breath. It takes a lot to get through any deployment but it takes so much more to get through one with kids because you are no longer the only one that is getting hurt or misses their soldier. Kadin and Logan are so proud of their daddy but they can't understand why he is gone. No child should ever have to go a single day without their dad, let alone a full year. As a mom, the hardest thing I've ever had to do is listen to my babies cry for their daddy. I don't think I'd ever wish that kind of pain on anyone. It tears my heart to pieces to see them suffer like this. So now we come back to how I do this, whatever 'this' may be. First and most importantly is my family. They are my number one support, whether it be emotional, physical or even mental. I know I can count on them for anything, if I need a few hours away from the house by myself, I know they are there. If I need a place to cry, they are definitely there. If I don't want to be alone, like always they are there. I could never make it through this without them. The second and just as important as the first is I surround our boys with everything of their daddys. We talk to him whenever we can, we talk about him 24/7 and we have pictures of him everywhere. Their favorite thing is when I wash them with their daddys soap :) I make sure they know that Lance loves them more than anything and he's coming home as soon as he can. The third thing that helps me and the boys through this deployment is to go on through the day and life as normal as possible. The more of a routine they have everyday is better for them. So in a way, I do take it day by day but it's everything that goes on in making that day that makes the difference.

Days 1-175

   After Lance left I felt a huge mix of emotions. I felt lost but then I knew I had to be strong for our boys. The days seemed to go so slow but before I knew it we were a month down and I realized that I could actually survive this thing. One lesson I learned was to concentrate on the small milestones and the first one was his r&r. I knew that if I thought about him coming home for good, I would feel overwhelmed and defeated. 11 months seemed like a lifetime but I could handle 5 months. So I started counting the days, one was how many days he had already been gone and the other one was how many days til he came home for r&r. Before I knew it I had hit the halfway point and I couldn't have been more excited. The next 3 months flew by and I knew I had a lot to do before he came home, especially clean the house! I decided to completely clean the house the day before he came home because if I did it any sooner than that our boys would have it totally destroyed. So that Monday I got up and started making my cleaning list and my phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognize so of course...I answered it. I figured it was Lance telling me he was on a plane to the States and he would be home tomorrow. Boy was I wrong! He was in Atlanta and would be at the airport in less than 3 hours and it was an hour drive there! So I woke my brother up and begged him to help me clean and the both of us speed cleaned the house and he finished while I got ready and while I was gone to get Lance. Well my GPS decided to take me the bassackwards way to the airport and as I pulled up I saw the most gorgeous sight I had seen in 5 1/2 months, my soldier :) He hopped in the car and the next two weeks flew by. We did anything and everything whether it be all four of us as a family or just the 2 of us as husband and wife. I don't think we'd ever had so much fun in 2 weeks.
    But then before I knew it we were back at the airport, just me and him. I couldn't bare to put the kids through that so like always, my parents were to the rescue :) I tried to stay strong and not cry but I realized how much I hated life without him and how much I loved and needed him home. I cried everyday for a week and now its only been a week and a half but the days are getting better. I still miss him like crazy and hate hearing the boys cry for their daddy but I know that sooner than I realize he'll be home and this time it'll be longer than 2 weeks. So my advice for today is keep your family close, whether they're your actual family or even friends who are the only 'family' you have right now. Also stay busy by getting a job of finding a hobby, whatever it is it will help pass the time! My favorite thing is to find other women on facebook who are going through the same thing, it helps to have those people who personally know what you are going through. Well this was my random thought for the day, reminiscing on our first 6 months of this dreadful deployment!

Hello and Welcome to My Life

It has been 175 days since he left, not that I'm counting or anything! The first 5 months flew by and I loved that but now since he's left from his r&r, time does nothing but d-r-a-g on. We are officially half way through this and I cannot wait for him to be home! But in the mean time I am going to write...what specifically you may wonder, well anything and everything. It can be about deployments, military, kids, families, jobs or whatever else comes to my mind! And I don't anyone to be excluded, everyone is welcome to read and comment! This is just to help me get my feelings out and hopefully help someone else along the way :) But right now it is 2 in the morning and I need to sleep, so I will write my first 'official' blog tomorrow...any suggestions on where to start?! let me know!!